Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
