I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
