the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sobbing to NWA
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
