I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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