Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
