The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
