ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
