chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm too high and old for this...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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