Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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