# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
