Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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