dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
