Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
