i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
