So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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