Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
