Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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