I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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