i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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