I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
