i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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