That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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