idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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