I just found puke in my bra..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were destined to go to rehab together
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i think i just lost a toe
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
