oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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