Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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