i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there was a trapeze. enough said
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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