you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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