if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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