what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
