I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize