Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
