And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
