If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
