I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
accomplished twins. life is a go
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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