pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
