I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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