i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
