just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
