I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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