its not stalking. its research.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't want my vagina anymore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
