Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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