just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
