how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
