We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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