I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
