Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
