but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
