I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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