Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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