So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
