he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
