Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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