Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
