She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
