I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
